I’ve been hanging out a lot lately with people who are just entering “the second round”.
They invested in a committed relationship (mostly marriages) and after some time of not working out relationships have ended leaving them in a state of neither here or there. They have done their grieving and now they would like to find someone new to have relationship with. There are few things here I find extremely interesting:
1. You can’t go home again
People who have truly gone through dating into wanting to spend lives together do not/ cannot/want not to date like newbies who never had “serious relationship”. They either have no trust to give upfront so that relationship can begin or they wish to skip introductions and getting-to-knows to just find themselves in full blown relationships.
2. Who you are is finally more important that what you have - and that is a problem
Because many people (not always intentionally) amass possessions with passage of time but LOSE who they are. They confuse their roles with their identity so they present themselves like husbands, mothers, teachers instead of guys/gals who teach and raise children and enjoy moonlit walks.
3. Known devil is better than unknown angel
New people and encounters need time and require routines to break. Interrupting routine brings fear and discomfort which is often more off-putting than potential relationships are attractive.