"There was all that proof."

In the beginning of Life there is this quick mockumentaristic mashup of parts of interviews with Charlie Crews's friends and family, real attention-grabbing stuff of the small things from the unknown context burning its way into our mind and this gentle female voice, repeating twice:"There was all that proof."

Transfixed blank stare and leafing through Path to Zen.

I love that show.

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Lately, when I'm highly stressed I go running.

Through the day I give the impression of being preoccupied, yet in control. I take things and I solve them, one after the other, efficiently and disconnectedly. And  feel extremely efficient because truly I am. There is all that proof.

... and yet, I also know there are things I'm not resolving and stuff I'm not in control of and those I can only leave to unravel and become clear.

Runing helps.

Not really, but in a way how push-ups help a prisoner in solitary. It gives focus, supplies endorphins, eases the mind.

I ran 4K today. Went running when the kid was already in bed. She said:"Now?!" when I gave her a kiss before going out. Yeah baby, now.

It was a beautiful night with smell of autumn in the air; crisp, heavy with overripe grapes and tired foliage. I ran well and I listened to Skrillex's Bangarang like I always do when cannot bear sentences. It has an awesome beat and I feel like a winner entering the finish line with every song. It pushes me to work on my cadence without even thinking of it.

While running I noticed there was my shadow always there before me, running in front of me, always. Mocking me. Playing with me. Challenging me.

Showing me the Path.